Giraffe Steak

"Why don't we eat giraffe?"

Rabbi Dude says:

If you’ve lived even a semi-Jewish life for more than a year or so, you’re bound to have heard of the reason: "because we’re not sure where to slaughter it." After all, the giraffe has such a long neck that, even though it is technically kashér (being a ruminant with split hooves), it’s impossible practically to eat it.

Nonsense.

Anatomy is anatomy, and all vertebrate animals have the same basic anatomical structure. It only stands to reason, therefore, that if you can find a point on one animal's body, you should be able to find the corresponding point on any other animal's body.
But that's only assuming we're looking for a single point. In fact, the appropriate place to slaughter animals is not one particular point, but anywhere within a defined range of the trachea and esophagus. As such, it turns out that the giraffe is actually the easiest animal to slaughter: the range is about two centimetres long on a pigeon and about fifteen on a cow, but it's around two metres on a giraffe.

So why don't we eat giraffe? Above all else, because it's illegal. The giraffe is a protected species through most of its range.
Even in those areas where the giraffe is not protected by law, the price would be outrageous. You'd have to go to Africa, find one, capture it in a way it wouldn't become a teréfa (if it weren't already), restrain it (and they are very wild animals), get its neck to a suitable position for slaughtering (or yourself to the neck), drain the blood, cover the blood (and that's a lot of blood), butcher it, soak and salt the meat, and ship it back home. If the authorities in your home country would even allow you to bring it in at all, the import duties would be stupendous. And then you'd still have to find people willing to buy it. By the time you're done with it all you'd be paying $1000. per kilogram for giraffe steak. Is it worth it?
Add to this the fact that people just think it's weird. Forgetting about kashrut issues for a moment: if I invited you to my house and set out a plate of cricket cookies (yes, I've seen a recipe), would you eat them? How about honey-covered ants (a delicacy to some native Africans) or monkey brains (a delicacy in some parts of Asia)? And, of course, let's not forget the good old wichetty grub....

So why does everyone seem to think that the reason we don't eat giraffe is because of the presumed impossibility of locating the appropriate place for slaughter? Well--truth be told--I have no idea where the rumour started, but the fact is that not too many people know anything about the laws of animal slaughter anymore, so most people have no trouble believing it. Again, they can't be blamed for their ignorance as to the laws; it's a topic that's just not commonly taught anymore. That's unfortunate, but it's not catastrophic. What is deplorable, however, is the fact that people would believe such an explanation, as that shows a willingness to believe anything anyone says without questioning, and even in the face of basic logic. That is nothing short of shameful.