Customs

Rabbi Dude says:

We are Jews, and we have a Tora. Anything the Tora says is obligatory is for all Jews.
Then there are sages, to whom we were commanded to listen by the Tora. Anything the sages say is obligatory and their authority is divinely granted.
Then there are practices instituted within religious matters. For example: observing a period of mourning during the three weeks between 17 Tamuz and 9 Av. These are called minhagim, which means "customs." Minhagim are obligatory.
Then there are customs. Customs are anything you do regularly. They are not obligatory.
Even minhagim vary from community to community, although there are some that are universal amongst Jews.
The requirements of the sages are universal, although there is dispute as to whether their words apply to certain cases.
The Tora is absolutely universal and is of divine authorship, although there is dispute as to how exactly to interpret it.

It's a fact of the modern Jewish world that many hold their minhagim, and even their customs, to be as absolute as the Tora itself. If you don't do things exactly the way I do, you're as good as a heretic.
We have the Tora, and we keep it. We have rabbinic laws, and we keep them. We have national minhagim, and we keep them. We have minhagim within our own community, and we keep them. Anything else is optional, and if it helps you grow in your service of God, then go for it! But if it doesn't, then it's probably hurting you....
But there is this unfortunate tendency to cling to one's customs almost to the point of blindness.

A friend of mine--who wasn't even Jewish--summed up my thoughts better than I ever could have: a minhag is what you do. It isn't who you are.